This month I threw $1,464 into Northrop Grumman (NOC). For that price, I secured a whopping three shares at $488 each. Small steps, right? Let’s break down why I’m now a modest co-owner of one of the defense industry’s giants.

Why NOC?

1. Defending the Free World Isn’t Cheap With wars in Ukraine and Israel, defense spending is surging, and NOC’s products—fancy jets, drones, and satellites—are in demand. By buying shares, I’m essentially investing in the ongoing demand for national security. It’s a noble cause… with dividends. Though I must say, justifying an investment based on global conflicts makes me feel like I need a shower.

2. P/E Ratios That Tease Potential

• Trailing P/E: 29.57
• Forward P/E: 18

While the trailing P/E might make your wallet sweat, the forward P/E paints a prettier picture. Compared to the defense industry average of 20.6X, NOC looks like it’s gearing up for growth. It’s like finding a slightly discounted luxury car – still expensive, but at least you can tell yourself you got a deal.

3. Steady (If Unremarkable) Revenue Growth Quarterly revenue growth stands at 2.30% year over year. Sure, it’s not flashy, but it’s reliable—and in this market, I’ll take “decent” over “disastrous” any day. It’s the investment equivalent of a participation trophy, but hey, it’s positive!

4. Debt That Doesn’t Scare Me NOC has $40.99 billion in revenue and $15 billion in debt, which is downright conservative for a company of its size. Like having a mortgage on a house you can actually afford—a rare feat in today’s world.

5. Growing Dividends, Even if They’re a Bit Stingy

• Trailing yield: 1.62%
• Forward yield: 1.72%

While I’d love higher payouts, I respect a company that grows its dividends responsibly. Every little drip into my account (approximately $8 quarterly—try not to get too excited) helps soothe the pain of buying at $488.

6. Analyst Optimism Seven analysts revised their earnings estimates upwards in the past 60 days. Though I suppose that could mean the previous estimates were just really, really low. Still, it’s nice to have cheerleaders, even if they occasionally miss the mark.

The Plan: Free NOC Shares

Here’s where it gets interesting. My master plan isn’t just to collect those princely dividend payments. I’m implementing the Up 40% Free Stock Strategy:

1. Wait for a 40% Gain (from $488 to about $683 per share – I’m sure it’ll happen any day now…)
2. Sell Enough to Cover My Initial $1,464 At $683 per share, selling two shares would recoup my entire investment
3. Keep the Leftover Share for Free One glorious “free” share that’s mine forever (because if you get your initial investment back, the remaining shares are basically free, right? Just don’t ask an accountant about this logic)

Final Thoughts

Was this the smartest investment I could’ve made? Maybe not. But sometimes you just have to believe in your choices (or at least pretend you do while you wait for the stock to climb). For now, I’ll sip my coffee and daydream about free shares and the moral victory of investing in global defense.

Here’s to small portfolios, big dreams, and a healthy dose of self-irony. Cheers!

Disclaimer: This is not financial advice. If you’re taking investment tips from someone who buys stocks three shares at a time and uses creative mathematics to convince themselves they’re getting free shares, we need to have a serious conversation about your life choices.